So much for that....

When was april? this year? I don't even remember that month.

I now have a gaggle of friends. "Gaggle" a word I've been using for the past few days is text booked as a "flock of geese". To me it is a group of persistent and aggressive females of mating age who persuade you to do or buy something for your "own good" despite most of your best counter arguments. Thanks to this group of independent, strong and caring to the over baring ladies, I today, have my first appointment with a certified therapist.

It is the same group who convinced me to leave work for several hours to make good on the Victoria Secrets Semi Annual cotton pantie sale. Clearly I must obey.

Points already against this particular mental analyzer, 1. office is in clayton, 2. doesn't take insurance, and 3. appears to have platinum blond hair. But the first session is free so I go today to get the feet wet and shut the group up for a weekend or two. I should make a list. But I don't want to commit to a litany of problems and loose focus.

I wish i had a stenographer to ride in the car with me. All my best sentences are composed and lost at traffic lights.

For the first time

in uncountable months. I read, or re-read or read for the first or second time some of these entries. And I'm ok. composed and unemotional. The numb is in. in deep. so a book in the near future is probable. future entries even more so.

my finger tips are heavy with words and finger limbs loaded with aprehensious. A book. a print. some text. a little type. meaningless words. those are truth, ink and permanent.

when did i become a poet. what book did you read, what songs did you hear, what website did to watch your life on by scrolling down really fast.

Why did that man on the street have a sandwich with bread and boned fried chicken, and why did he just throw that bone in the street when he cleaned all that chicken, and was i supposed to shake his hand and give him my number?