Living with it

This week my main project at work, besides a blues poster, a spoken word event, a failure of a dog event, a couple of business cards, some logo identity projects, a couple of calls for art, and a cupcake fathers day flier was to bid out a 10 foot high roof top signage project. Narcissism might very well be the single most dominate feature in the down fall of america. Maybe not though, since i've never been out the country. (canada and bahamas don't count right?) So these letters are 10 feet high and the two words they spell will stretch some eighty feet 26 stories above the abandoned sky line some of us call downtown. Besides compromising the architectural integrity of this multi million dollar building their total cost will be more than i make on salary for the next 4 years.

Despite all this, in order to maintain my pay check to pay check style of living, I have no choice but to execute this project to the best of my abilities. Which as of late, i'm learning is not that well.

Other activities this week included a insane shopping spree at target. Thats right, i went nuts at a discount store. Raking up some 140 dollars worth of fresh under wear, pants and shorts. A bargain if you consider how much weight i've gained and how much more fabric I had to buy as a result. Fat people get better bargains if you measure clothing pound per pound.

This trip to target allotted me a week of fashion mishaps. And this reconstruction i'm carrying around played the star.

I was excited to find a crisp sage green sun dress for only 24.99! I tried it on the in the fitting room with my six other items. With my back turned away from the mirror i shimmed the dress over my head and once the dress was on I dropped the jeans to my ankles. Oh, how cute. sold.

Fast forward to tuesday afternoon where my signage shopping project got me a round trip all expenses paid trip to Arnold MO to tour a signage plant. Ok a morning not in the office, i'm in, I guess. Ok you're going to drive. fine. So naturally being the fashion guru I am, I woke up Tuesday morning, hung over, fuzzy eyed as usual, and make the decision to break in the green dress. No test runs here, lets see how this think operates.

Well as it turns out, on my drive in I discovered that the full coverage of the front was specifically when standing. Not bending, leaning, turning or moving. Ok. Well today i'll just stay as still as possible. I wore a, what do you call this thing, its like a the-need.... A sweater? Its a loose thing with tiny sleeves. I wore that on top. To ensure myself a false sense of security.

I put on my best business voice and attempted to charm the sales rep on the way there. I think it goes pretty well. I can chat. When i try. Really hard. So we arrive at the plant. Lots of hand shaking. I'm upright with my shoulders back. More hand shaking. Lots of men. There's maybe one chick in this place. Guess what she does. Hint, she was not welding. In the conference room I squash all outside ideas and keep my vision intact. Leaning over the table to point out key elements in the architectural elevations. Here and here. And its is 10.5 in. Made of steel.

The whole time. I'm aware that my "cleavage" might be visible. Rather I know you can see it every time I point to something. At least i can when i look down. Ahh cleavage, I don't mean the luscious space in between my ripe a full breasts. I mean the empty space between two hard silicon orbs that are surrounded by ill placed patched up skin. Skin that wrinkles and crinkles in all the wrong places. Skin that is marked with long visible dark scars. What a triumph to women. Hey there men of the trade, let me show you something. Let me teach you to never look down again. Keep your eyes on mine and the elevation. Look at this mock up I made in photoshop. Be horrified. Be quiet. Be obedient.

Despite this unexpected unveiling, I wore this dress 3 more times this week.
Come on! its St. Louis summer, how can i be asked to avoid sun dresses.
That meeting ended up with a tour of my gallery and free lunch in the west end. Be hold the power of commission!