In my mind there was two seconds from the time they inserted the iv and the moment i woke up mutilated, immobile, tubes and wires stemming from every wound. I was padded with cotton and this antithesis of sexy tank top bra that Velcro's at the shoulders. So I didn't have that dreaded "oh my god" my tits are gone feeling. Because actually there still are some bumps there.
MU, Jeff, JT, and my Dad where there. I know i was being a bitch. The bed was poorly designed. The buttons where ill placed, and someone made the mistake of giving me a little red button that allowed me to call upon an unsuspecting nurse at my whim. I couldn't do anything on my own. And the drugs make it very difficult to speak clearly. So people say "what?" and you mumble "hand me that please." then they say "what" again. And then you have to be like "god damnit whore give me some fucking water" Ok not really but after the third time, thats pretty much what my tone insinuated.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Behind the Center Doors
I wish i could remember more of the nurses names, but I can't. So I'm going continue to refer to them by description only. The Filipino nurse who called me into the back was the first to spend time with me. Take my blood pressure and all that pre-press bullshit. She set me up on the gurney.
A few things I didn't know they did during surgery:
Those blue things go on your legs. They alternate compression to circulate your blood while you're in the OR. The paper blanket with little gay blue bears on it connects to a hose (the hose previously mentioned in an earlier post I didn't want to imagine its purpose) The blanket fills up with warm air to keep your body temperature slightly higher than usual. Its sort of like a swimming pool raft.
My dad finally came back to stay with me before the hooked up the iv and knocked me out. And yep he had his camera. Starting to realize how very similar we are. In the moments before surgery I told him the story of how i got involved with art in St. Louis. I hadn't really realized how very far removed I've been from my family since my escape to college. This is perhaps the first time they've actually met me. As the me I am now, as a rebellious adult. Rather than a rebellious teenager. I'd like to think I've refined the process just a bit over that last 12 years.
A few things I didn't know they did during surgery:
Those blue things go on your legs. They alternate compression to circulate your blood while you're in the OR. The paper blanket with little gay blue bears on it connects to a hose (the hose previously mentioned in an earlier post I didn't want to imagine its purpose) The blanket fills up with warm air to keep your body temperature slightly higher than usual. Its sort of like a swimming pool raft.
My dad finally came back to stay with me before the hooked up the iv and knocked me out. And yep he had his camera. Starting to realize how very similar we are. In the moments before surgery I told him the story of how i got involved with art in St. Louis. I hadn't really realized how very far removed I've been from my family since my escape to college. This is perhaps the first time they've actually met me. As the me I am now, as a rebellious adult. Rather than a rebellious teenager. I'd like to think I've refined the process just a bit over that last 12 years.
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