Its hard to make any rational judgments at this point. If you research post plastic surgery depression there are many stages to go through mentally and physically. I'm trying to stay off my photo albums on facebook. Before photos are a difficult experience at this point. It wasn't that long ago when things were so different.
Here I am with two damned drains again. The complications with fluids forced the surgeon to extend the scars further than anticipated. Each side is about 12 inches. From well past the nipple center line all the way to just centered under the armpit. The lines are thick and red. Rationally I remember from the first surgery, that after the glue is worn off these red lines are faint pinker flat scars. But right now I don't care much for rational thoughts and all i know is what i see. A tattoo design is so fuzzy in my head at the moment but I am certain its in the future more clearly and will cover all evidence.
The only current pain is from the drain sites. The worst of it all actually was my throat after the air tubes and a canker soar that was left on my inner lip from the breathing aids. My range of motion was barely compromised. Over all a much easier surgery than round one.
But "they" don't look even. In the haze after the anesthesia, I remember Maria relaying Gurlie's concern with the left side's tissue and the extensive reconstruction. Parts of the tissue are hard. I'm trying to massage regularly. They feel fake. Like plastic. I was sort of was getting to like the extreme cleavage of the expanders. The implants are softer and lower. Are these terms of reality or just terms of the current stage of recovery. Only time will tell. I'm terribly impatient.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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